By now I am used to receiving emails from my son’s school with spelling and grammar errors as well as factually incorrect information, but this one was just downright confounding for its utter lack of substance:
Subject: Safety and Rumors
Good evening, this is a message from [school name redacted] High Administration.
We are contacting you about a number of rumors that have been circulating among our students about something bad happening on our campus. We can assure that these are all rumors. Our school police have followed up on all leads that have come to us and have found nothing credible. You and your children are safe here at [name redacted] High School and we will continue to follow up on any information that comes to us. We have a vacation just around the corner and we expect to see everyone here tomorrow. Thank you.
After reading it, I was more worried than if I had never gotten an email to begin with. What rumors? I hadn’t heard any rumors. My son hadn’t heard any rumors. What’s going on? Then I remembered… Fleetwood Mac is playing in Anaheim tonight. Given their track record, the school probably just forgot the “u” in Rumours.