WARNING: Your Child May Be Required To Undress You

I’m used to getting emails with spelling errors, grammatical errors, factual errors, and various combinations thereof from my son’s high school.  Despite my low expectations, it was still a bit of a shock when I received the following warning by email yesterday afternoon (emphasis added):

With the warm weather coming our way, please remember that the school dress code will be consistently enforced. If you are wearing an item that is not permitted, students will be required to change the item.

You are probably wondering what items I might possibly wear that would require my son (much to his chagrin, I’m sure) to change me.  Here is the first item from the list of “[i]tems of particular concern that will not be permitted”:

Extremely brief or revealing garments; no tube tops, bare midriffs or exposed cleavage

So “no tube tops” will not be permitted?  Interesting.

Here is another example from the “not permitted” list:

Underwear not covered by outer garments (including bras straps)

I literally did a double take on that one.  I thought maybe “brass straps” were something the kids were wearing these days that I just hadn’t heard about yet.  I mean I just found out about twerking yesterday.

Everyone makes a typo now and then.  I probably made one or two in this blog post.  But I am not getting paid to educate children.  I expect official correspondence being sent from schools to be practically perfect with respect to spelling, grammar and facts.  It only takes a moment to proofread one’s own work, and a moment or two more to have someone else read through it a second time.  It is hypocritical to expect high school students to turn in error-free work with respect to spelling and grammar when schools don’t even hold their own employees to the same standard.

And I don’t care what the policy is, I will not be wearing a tube top.


5 thoughts on “WARNING: Your Child May Be Required To Undress You

  1. Is changing the offensive item for another of a different color OK?

    And if you don’t have something to cover up your underwear, then just take it off. Rules is rules, right?

    This is all probably for the best. Figuring out how to deal with “bras straps” is a skill that all boys should have… and if it was brass, then they’ll get it in Shop class…

    And twerking… So it seems that if you twerk you will be required to run during commencement ceremonies?

    And it takes them 13 paragraphs to define twerking… sorry, just being old here.

    Those girls that can twerk while they’re doing handstands… Holy Cow! That’s talent! Can you even still do a handstand? But inappropriate, apparently. Twerking upright is OK… hmmm….

    I can only hope that the “reporter” or “journalist” that wrote that article on twerking was expelled from school for freak dancing and so has an excuse for her writing. But if the board officials actually said what she reported… well, they probably got kicked out of school for doing the lambada. Didn’t learn anything from their parents who got kicked out of school for doing the twist.


  2. School employees self-selected for that career with the knowledge they would fail at any other endeavor.

  3. Our children each took nearly 6 years to get beyond being embarrassed when we would annually return the required signature on the “Code of Conduct” with a detailed list of spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors contained in the document. Finally, our cover letters usually amounted to A) Read the U.S. Constitution, B) Read the State Constitution, C) Read the published and standing laws of the state, and D) READ THE RULES GOVERNING ACCEPTABLE CONDUCT ON YOUR PART IN ORDER TO RECEIVE PUBLIC FUNDING before attempting to gather our signatures again. After nearly 12 years of spreading the word, we finally have a school board and superintendent that don’t fall (fail) all the way to D before understanding our point. (But we have yet to receive a thoroughly proof read copy of an attempt at an illegal contract named “Code of Conduct” – sigh.)

  4. The entire professional writing staff of my local newspaper thinks that a spell-checker is the same as a proof reader.

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