As despair.com will tell you, Not Everyone Gets To Be An Astronaut When They Grow Up, but that didn’t stop me from going to Space Camp (actually Space Academy and Advanced Space Academy) and giving myself a call sign (thus breaking the cardinal rule of call signs). Where did that call sign come from? Well my last name was Moss, and my middle initial was L, and when written quickly enough, the L could look like a caret used to insert missed letters. When written in just the right configuration under my first name (Debbie), the “e” from Debbie would thus be “careted” into my last name and voilà, Moses. This goes back to at least the age of 12, and it is carved onto the headstock of my no-name electric guitar (which I still own) from back then.
So that gets us to Moses, but why MosesMosesMoses? Flash forward from the mid-eighties to the mid-nineties when I was out of college and establishing my first non-university email account. Moses, of course, was already taken. I happened to be watching The Ten Commandments starring my good friend Chuck Heston and I noticed that almost everyone in the movie adressed him as “Oh Moses, Moses, Moses” rather than just “Moses”. I said something sarcastic along the lines of “wow, they weren’t very clever with their names back then; his first, middle and last name were all the same.” And the rest is history. I have forever since been mosesmosesmoses. Thank you Mr. Heston (and Mr. DeMille).
Two more thoughts on the whole astronaut thing. First, I received the Right Stuff award at Advanced Space Academy. Who cares, right? I do. Second, I applied to be an actual astronaut. I didn’t even make it past the first round. I was medically disqualified due to a history of migraines. Despair.com is right. If anyone needs me I’ll be at the fry cooker.